PAIN, HURT, ANGUISH… AND WHAT ELSE?

You didn’t regard my worth in your life. You sabotaged everything we’ve worked on. You intentionally did that for your own selfish gains. You’re mean, you’re ungrateful, you’re not worth my while. I wish we never met. How can you be so careless. Who does that? Geeeeeeez….. freeze!!! Hold on, hold on, hold on… What the heck is going on here?

THE DISTURBED HEART

  1. What is pain? Mental suffering or distress (heartbreak, unhappiness, despair, desperation, trauma)
  2. What is hurt? To cause pain or injury to (incapacitate, damage); be detrimental to (jeopardize, undermine); to cause emotional pain or anguish to (offend)
  3. What is anguish? Extreme pain, distress, or anxiety (agony, torment, hurt, pain, misery, torture, travail); extremely distressed about something.

There is no doubt how greatly these words are related (very strong negative words I must say…). These are all negative expressions or reactions people give or take.

  • How do you respond to them when you are at the receiving end?
  • What impact does it have on you?
  • How long do you allow yourself to express or experience these?

We’ve all been hurt at a point in our lives: some may be still hurting at the moment; others healing; some grieving and many rising from the state of insecurities they find themselves. There is always a healing process somewhere along the line.

We approach situations differently and we handle people uniquely (I mean, you can’t treat everyone the same….). Our temperaments call for the way we ought to be treated and also, how we treat others.

Nonetheless, we try to be godly by treating each and everyone almost the same (which is quite difficult as humans).

So, what do you do when pain, hurt and anguish is caused by those you believe are in your inner circle? (Hmmmmmm, I wonder). We begin to ask a lot of questions like

  1. Was this relationship genuine?
  2. What did I do wrong?
  3. Why would he/she do that knowing how well we adore each other?
  4. Or was he/she faking whatever it is we shared?
  5. Was this one-sided all this while?

We tend to ask ourselves a lot of questions with little to no answers. There is an option called confrontation. How many opt for that? (Very few in my opinion because we don’t want to drag the situation any longer….childish or nay)

We allow ourselves to be consumed by the choices of others simply because we love and adore them. It is awesome to love and adore even if they are not worthy.

How many times have we sinned and begged for forgiveness from GOD? (Countless I must say.. lol). GOD always forgives so we must learn to forgive.

Also, do your best as humans to do right on your side and trust that, those who falter and treat you badly will always run back to you.

Moreover, just stay calm, smile and profess good things in your life whiles you’re going through that trying time (it’s damn difficult but so worth it).

Most importantly, don’t be a fool by not learning anything. Wisdom is a principal thing and in all your getting, get understanding.

As wise as you may seem to be, dearest, apply everything you’ve learnt and observed, and be better in your next phase of pain, hurt and anguish.

Keep learning, keep studying, keep trusting GOD and remember to Live, Love and Be Kind.

IT’S A SITUATION

Building values and standards is paramount in a person’s life. Your personality profile speaks a lot about you. Engaging in an activity or even event requires that. This part is the final of my previous posts MARRIAGE ON MY MIND and LOVE & WEDDING

Preparing and planning for wedding takes time, energy and requires a lot of thinking. I had a picture, a dream and a theme in my mind for mine whenever it happens. Dreaming is entirely different from execution.

When I begun putting my dreams on paper and started deciphering, I realized nothing whatsoever is easy on this earth and every trade is important. We mostly categorize important jobs to those in the office and in tall buildings. But we tend to forget that, for your water to run, you need a plumber, for you to have light, you need an electrician, for you to have piece of mind when planning your wedding, you need an event coordinator or a day-off coordinator (will you consider an event planner).

ENERGY INVOLVED IN COORDINATING AN EVENT

In the European countries, Event Coordinators take not less than a year to organize a fairy-tale or a dream wedding. A lot goes into coordination of events, and more energy when coordinating a wedding. The reason coordinators are hired is to reduce stress and assure the couple peace, well-organized and elegant wedding. Your final look will determine the amount of work put in the coordination (it’s relative though). There are some good ones whose rate are not exorbitant. Even with small weddings, money goes into it (nothing good comes cheap!!! trust me on this).

Be willing to pay if you’re considering an event coordinator. As fancy as coordinators may appear, their work is not that fancy. It takes a lot of patience, professionalism and a big heart to contain all kind of skirmishes (skirmishes from different angles – family, friends, outsiders).

Imagine working with a bride who is indecisive about her gown (deciding  on a gown can be tricky… lol). There are great designers out there and billions of design. If you do not have a clear concept, by the time you realize, Jack…… it’s already a month to the big day.

Being decisive saves time, and help minimize errors

Imagine the thought and energy you put in plan you wish to embark on? When buying shampoo for instance, you read the ingredients, you look out for certain qualities and benefits whiles considering affordability (in most cases). You do all these when buying a product, how much more your big day?

WHAT AM I DRIVING AT?

Simply put; every trade is of great importance. No matter the trade you find yourself, give your hundred percent (if possible 1000%). We all need each other to grow. The world is big enough for all of us to grow. Improve on your skills if you need to, learn more trade if you want to, indulge in activities that makes you think and appreciate the world. Give to the needy, make someone better with the little assistance you believe you can give. Most importantly, LIVE, LOVE & BE KIND.

LOVE & WEDDING

This is the continuing part of my previous post https://ellamihere.wordpress.com/2018/11/14/marriage-on-my-mind/

WHAT IS LOVE?

1. The feeling of strong or constant affection for a person.

2. A person you love in a romantic way.

3. The unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another

~ Merriam-Webster Dictionary~

Our concentration is going to be on No. 3 (the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another). We constantly tell our partners how much we love and adore them especially with our mouths (what’s your best way of showing affection?).

What shows you love your partner? Life has a funny way of testing our thoughts and words. If you want to really test to see if you’re loved by your partner, money and wedding are two great tools to use.

During counselling, a lot of concessions were made when it came to the point of financial stability; joint account or no joint account?

hmmm…. what will make you opt for joint account? Please share your thoughts  below.

Barely a-third of the class were in favour of joint account. Most ladies claimed their monies for themselves and that of the man’s for the couple. One comment made was; my money is my money but my husband’s is ours. How tacky does that sound?

This discussion was spearheaded by a lawyer who was invited to talk us through the legalities of marriage and certain things we need to consider. The reason he gave for the joint account was basically directed towards security in favour of the wife and children. I don’t know why but it seems the men die early leaving their wife and children unattended to financially.

and he said; “relatives can worry to the extent of stripping off everything from the wife and children when the man is deceased. They tend to forget the wealth of the man was built by both parties and not solely the man”. Having access to money during this period is close to impossible especially if the couple have separate account. Imagine if they have a joint account, they needn’t wait on the bank and other bureaucratic channels to get access to money needed to take care of any expenses that might be incurred.

is this reason not enough to start considering joint account with your husband (chill!, the word is h-u-s-b-a-n-d and not b-o-y-f-r-i-e-n-d.. lol)?

How do we understand the phrase; the two shall become one? Is there anything like except for money… ;-)? We were given a budget list to fill. Things that were on the list included cost of:

  • Wedding ring
  • Bridal gown
  • Tuxedo
  • Bridal Train
  • Honeymoon
  • Reception etc….

Come and see (kw3333…..lol); right there and then, the argument begun. Just imagine the kind of faces and reactions in the hall? I was like wow!!! What money and wedding can cause? (Do you want to have a social media wedding or a normal wedding?)

Women generally love big weddings and men love to be men (being financially sound). There’s always a diversion of thought when it comes to marriage. Men are mostly thinking about life after the altar whiles the ladies are more into looks for the altar. Being financially sound and grinding for food after marriage, which do you prefer?

We all have our preferences, dreams and aspirations. If you truly love your boo, be considerate when it comes to spending for few hours event. Trust me, no one will recall the drapping, center pieces, trimmings and the food you cooked after few months. Yes! you will see them in pictures. Yes! you will have a memory of it but mind you, the monies spent during those hours could do more for both of you in future especially when kids start coming.

kids don’t fast. kids don’t understand the phrase “we don’t have”. expenses on kids never ceases even when they grow. plan your marriage life and be certain of constant flow of cash before bringing in kids. the whole idea is to make the kid comfortable. 

~Kojo Owusu Nyantekyi Fosuhene~

Love is a beautiful thing and money is good. Don’t spend all your monies on your wedding day. Life after the event is the most important. Then again, if you believe you can afford luxurious wedding and be very comfortable afterwards, why not? Don’t make a mistake of borrowing for wedding. Remember, there are other options:

  1. Office wedding
  2.  Signing at the registry

In the end, we all have our rings!!!…

Always Live, Love and Be Kind

Kindly comment, make suggestions, like, share and follow.

 

Curl Talk.

I use to have wonderful black kinky hair. I really invested it in. Having a beautiful hair is expensive. Natural remedies do help and it also involve money. Remember, for everything to look heavenly, you need to nurture it, which takes time; time in going through all the routines to have a sleek hair, healthy diet and fluids especially water, pampering the hair by massaging it, among others.

For you to actually enjoy your hair, always have a time schedule purposely for that so that you do not end up regretting the process in the first place. Time is really essential in everything. Manage it well and you’d love any venture you decide to undertake.

Kinky is beautiful and patience is a virtue. Practice patience and you’d love your kinky hair.

Curl Talk

Welcome

Heyyyyyy guysss how’s it going? This is my very very first post on curly kinky hair so yay and thank you so much for coming here.

Okay. So here’s the truth about having kinky hair particularly in the type 4 range of hair. It’s not easy. At all. If it’s easy for you then you’re probably not doing it right. Am I saying its difficult? Nah. But it is challenging. You’re going to be questioning yourself whether it’s really worth it on those nights where you just don’t feel like twisting your hair or wearing your satin bonnet or scarf. You’re going to be asking yourself questions like: “Do I really need to wash my hair today?? ” or ” Do I really need a functional hair routine? “.

I’m a Bsc. Biomedical science student at the University of Cape Coast, Ghana and to all my Ghanaians y’all know…

View original post 890 more words

MARRIAGE ON MY MIND

Nine years ago in April, I met one of the awesome people in the entire world.  I call it love at first sight (do you believe in love at first sight?). It wasn’t all smooth and rosy, it wasn’t all fun and entertaining. There were ups and downs and constant quarrels and fights. But we’ve made it till now. We are growing strong in GOD’s grace and in power.

We all have our dreams, goals and ambitions. Not being single for almost a decade of your life calls for adjustments in both drawing plans and executing them (will you go that mile with your boo?). A year ago, we decided to tie the knot so we started counselling which was another semester all together especially if you are a member of ICGC Christ Temple. We are done with counselling and set to marry.

THE BUSINESS OF WEDDING

I’ve been planning my wedding since I was in the university (laughing). Those were rough sketches and ideas. I’m on the implementation stage and mehn! this ain’t easy. So we started inquiring and asking for prices for a simple yet sophisticated wedding.

Vendors! Vendors!! Vendors!!!

First of all, it is imperative you learn a craft in addition to your schools’ certifications because these crafts can earn you maybe more than your monthly salary depending on where you work. The whole goal is to get a beautiful setting at an affordable price. No one wants to spend all their income on few hours for a ceremony. What matters most is the marriage (but hey, if you have the money and you believe you are set for life, go for that dream wedding!!!).

Event coordinators, Decorations, Photography, Video, Rentals, Catering, Makeup, Hair among others make up your vending list.

Let us say, maybe, just maybe the whole ceremony will cost like GHC200,000.00, without your gown, tux for hubby, accessories and things for your bridal train. Just imagine how much you are going to spend in those few hours(onlooking)?. If you decide to hire a coordinator (not a day-off coordinator), 10% – 20% of your total cost will be his/ her commission. So in few hours, you’ve given out like GHC220,000. If that much is pumped into a wedding, imagine if the exact amount is invested in a venture? As much as we would love to have elaborated ceremony, no matter the money you have, just make sure you have a plan that will secure your generations to come.

MY BUSINESS

I’m drawn to a lot of things and fascinated by awesome perspectives. Growing up, I loved to braid and take pictures. In 2006, we went visiting at Cote d’Ivoire and during our shopping spree, all I could ask for was a doll to braid with. To me, I was just living the best of my life through my hobby (braiding); if only I knew.

Fast forward to Current

I realized what I felt for beauty was more than a mere hobby. I love to create, recreate and do something awesome with my hands. Going back and forth as to whether to make a living out of what I love and considered a hobby became challenging until life hit me.

You need to make use of what you were gifted in other to make a living. I made a decision of venturing into Cosmetology and Photography. I registered my business in 2015, got the basic tools that will help if I’m booked; practicing constantly and continuously, studying  and recreating the things I learn to improve my skills.

“I’m always learning”

I ended up specializing in Makeup Artistry (cosmetology section) because getting the tools were quite affordable and convenient. I do dabble into hair now and then but mostly for family and friends.

Everything is difficult until you learn how to do it ~ Shawn Thomas ~

When I registered my business, I was ecstatic and filled with joy. Little did I know I was in for something bigger than myself.

“It has become a lifestyle now but it sure isn’t easy”

Photography is way more than snap and shoot. It is math, it is science, it is art and it is expensive. Photography is way of life and it requires constant practice and field exercise. To be great and successful, you need to constantly improve your art.

What do you consider a hobby?

What are the benefits of your hobby?

How lucrative is your hobby now turned business?

Share with us by commenting below.

A man’s gift makes room for him,

And brings him before great men.

~ Proverbs 18:16 ~